


Miss Senator Seduces a Boy

by TheReader321



Category: South Park, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Absurd, Comedy, F/M, South Park References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22400506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheReader321/pseuds/TheReader321
Summary: In between 'The Phantom Menace' and 'Attack of the Clones', Obi-Wan brings a startling secret to the attention of the Jedi Council but surprisingly it doesn't quite go as he expected. Inspired by the script of South Park Season 10, Episode 10: 'Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy'.
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Kudos: 10





	Miss Senator Seduces a Boy

“So full of crap, you are, Mace.” Yoda leaned back into his Galactic La-Z-Boy.

Mace Windu glared at the incredulous expression on the Grand Master’s face “What? I did shoot him in the face. Twice."

Noticing Yoda's scoff, Mace murmured under his breath. " _Believe whatever you want you little goblin sh—_ "

Obi-Wan, who had been waiting nervously at the entrance for while now (and somehow completely ignored the rather inappropriate conversation the two were having through the sheer force of his meditation), finally pushed himself to enter the private room of the Jedi Council. “Ex-excuse me?”

The two illustrious Jedi Masters looked up as Obi-Wan walked into the room “Hello there…My name is... uh—Bruck. And uh I need to report a crime. Anonymously.”

Mace wondered curiously at the young padawan before him, who rather reminded him of a young Jesus. “Oh? Well what's the crime?”

Obi-Wan hesitated for a moment before continuing, swallowing down his feelings of nervousness. “Well, I was at Naboo recently, ah-and... w-one of the politicians is having s-s— _sex_ with a y—youngling.”

Yoda and Mace scrambled wildly out of their chairs, each quickly grabbing a pen and paper. “Oh my God! This is terrible!” The two of them got on bent knees next to Obi-Wan, both of their hands waving around, demanding him to continue so that they could do their duties as Jedi to protect the galaxy’s downtrodden.

“You did the right thing telling the authorities, Bruck. Now, who is the politician? What's his name?”

“Well, it isn't a guy politician. It's a woman.”

Yoda and Mace looked at each other, both of their eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“A woman??”

“Yeah. She's having sex with a male youngling.”

Yoda’s eyes lit up in realisation. “Oh, but ugly, she must be, right, hmm?Herh herh herh.”

Obi-Wan was growing a bit frustrated. “Well no, not really. It's Senator Amidala of Naboo.”

“The brunette??”  
“Yeah.”

“Having intercourse with Senator Amidala, some young boy is, hmm?”

“Yes.” Obi-Wan said firmly, visibly relieved that he had managed to get the secret that had been hanging over him for a while, off his chest.

“Niceeeeeee..”  
“Nice...”

The young man looked in shock towards the two Jedi Masters. This really wasn’t the way he was expecting this conversation to go.

“What?!?! No, you don't understand—“

Yoda cut him off. “Had intercourse, you sure they have, hmm?”  
“Yeah.”

Mace quickly asked the first question that had come to his mind. “Bruck.. I need you to answer me seriously here. Has she performed oral sex on him?”

“I think so.” Obi-Wan replied, wondering where all this was going.

“….Nicee.”  
“Nice....”

Yoda cocked his head to the side, as if suddenly remembering something “So wait, what, what's the crime?”

“The crime is, she isn't doing it with me” Mace jabbed jokingly. As the two chortled, Obi-Wan groaned internally, realising that these would be the people he would spending time with for the rest of his life.

Still in shock, Obi-Wan shook his head and glared at the two accusingly. “Hey! He's totally underage. She's taking advantage of him.”

Yoda quickly fixed a serious expression on his face. “Right, you are. Sorry, we are. Serious, this is. Hmmmmmm. Track this youngling down we must and... give him his ‘Luckiest Boy In The Galaxy’ medal right away we need.” His supposedly stern expression broke as he and Mace laughed uproariously, completely ignoring the growing rage on Obi-Wan’s face.

Throws his hands up in frustration, Obi-Wan left the two perverted Jedi Masters behind him. “Gargh! I’ll handle this myself if I have to.”


End file.
